An Ironic Pop Culture Summer Solstice

We’re in the Upside Down. The Bad Place. Having a panic attack outside a karaoke bar. At our Lumon desk. Churning our anachronistic butter churn in Ye Olde Rutherford Falls. Off the Wheel in Station Eleven. Thrashing on our Lady Parts guitars, looking for the backstory in our Mythic Quest to find meaning in What We Do in the Shadows as we sail from our safe harbor in Our Flag Means Death. 

Yeah. I’ve been watching a lot of television shows. Like…a lot.

As the sun begins to set on the summer solstice in the Northern Hemisphere, I decided it was time to enter the blogosphere again. My last post was October, 2019.

Wow. That’s a ridiculously long time to be away from the blog. And from my musings about life, the universe, and everything. In October of 2019, Sierra had sustained an injury due to a freak encounter with a buried stump in the goat enclosure and thus our world turned upside down months before the pandemic would further enhance the chaos in our lives.

“I do not like the cone of shame.”

So, I would like to reflect on the wrongness of it all. Not something I normally do. I’ve always seen myself as an optimist, but the pandemic, in addition to the racial and political upheaval in the world, has taken its toll on my outlook. But of course, I can find a glimmer of optimism and will get to that. I promise.

I think this shift in perspective began in September of 2019 when our school endured a rolling blackout due to severe red flag warnings. California has been wracked yearly by deadly fires due to the drought and climate change, so this wasn’t surprising. Teaching in the dark without the use of technology found my students (and myself) realizing how much we depended on electricity. Little did I know that my ability to adapt quickly and pull off an excellent lesson would be a preamble to a year and a half of creative distance teaching (ironically relying totally on electricity). 

de-illumination as they “blew” out the candles

In my discussions with my two writing classes, I asked the students to consider all the pop culture (books, movies, shows, music, etc.) references they could think of concerning the concepts of light and dark. Every example they came up with for light was positive thus making the dark something negative. So, I pulled out some battery operated candles and set them up around the room on the desks and asked them to shift their perspectives and consider all the ways in which the darkness could be beneficial. They didn’t disappoint. I’ll let you think of your own examples, but suffice it to say, the kids delved deep into their souls and blew my mind with how powerful and helpful the darkness can be. 

an appreciation of the darkness during writing class

That experience resonated with me during those truly challenging days when Sierra would have to be in her cone of shame, hooked up to an inflatable pillow cone, hooked up to her harness because she would chew her cone to pieces if it wasn’t securely attached. By the time she recovered, both Brett and I had become so ill, him in December ‘19 and me in January ’20. I can only assume that I might have had COVID-19 before it was fully understood because I had never been that sick. Then in March 2020, the world went into lockdown, and we all know how that unfolded. 

Like all teachers, Brett and I rallied, scrambled, and converted parts of our home into classrooms. And we taught our students the best way we could, with honesty and a lot of uncertainty, frustration, and humility. 

The Dragon’s Den Online

Most people who will read this already know us and what we endured as teachers because many of you are also teachers. If you are reading this, and you either taught or helped your children learn online, I applaud you. If you’re a parent AND a teacher, I salute you. Even though being home for us was actually a wonderful experience (no commuting, spending extra time with Sierra and the cats, farm science lessons with the students, and being able to be around the farm more) it was a challenging year and a half. Brett had knee replacement surgery, and I learned how to cook. But my students were resilient, and I’m so proud of both of my online classes. Some of us attended a Black Lives Matter protest, leaving the safety of lockdown, in June 2020 which led to a summer of re-educating myself about what I thought I knew about systemic racism. 

Evergreen June 2020

The 2020-2021 year started, and our principal supported our 6th grade purchase of Lisa Moore Ramee’s brilliant novel A Good Kind of Trouble so we could continue to explore issues of racism, consent, friendship, and other timely themes with the students.

Read this book!

Unfortunately, again, horrific wildfires burned across the state only this time closer to home. The smoke was overwhelming, and in between classes, I would try to gather my resolve, calm my nerves, and regroup for the next lesson.

My students were kind, attentive, and, for the most part, actually did what I asked them to do. My school year was surprisingly powerful and positive despite the deluge of negative news.

Remember the murder hornets? 

You would think that I would have been prepared for what would come next, but even I didn’t have the imagination to predict the 2021-2022 school year. I’ll comment only that in 22 years, this most recent time in the classroom was the most challenging, heartbreaking, and demoralizing I have ever had. So much so that I opted to move rooms (across the hall) after over a decade to put closure on the school year. I’ll just say this. If you are a parent, and your child asks for mental health counseling, please, PLEASE get them the help they are asking for so your child can fully process everything they have endured for the past 2 years. 

Why recap all the sadness? Anguish? Pain? Because it happened. If Pixar’s Inside Out taught us anything, it’s that we need to acknowledge and appreciate sadness.

If culture deems sadness as darkness, then I invite that darkness in and acquaint myself with it. Not quite so artfully as Mia Sara did with Tim Curry, but you get the idea.

Lili and Darkness

As a child, I always appreciated the villains or antagonists. Without them, there is no story. No conflict. No reason to adapt, grow, or change. I appreciate current films and shows delving into the villains’ backstories in order to fully understand their motivations. 

So how did you cope with all that happened over the past 2 years? I found comfort in television shows. 

Yes, from TV. 

I found that what normally brought me joy simply didn’t anymore. Working in my studio seemed overwhelming. Being around friends and family exhausting. I couldn’t read (unless it was re-reading, for countless times, one of Susan Branch’s memoirs), which was upsetting at times because I have always been an avid reader. My mind wandered because while at school, I gave 110% of my energy to school. Once I got home, I had nothing left. Instead, I found comfort in visual storytelling, and it helped me navigate my way through the past two years. To embrace the darkness. To learn. To grow.

I learned about my privilege in ways I never considered. For example, all of our student desks are designed for right-handed students. It took me 20 years to realize that, and I learned about that from TikTok. I educated myself on historical events that I embarrassingly didn’t know about like the Tulsa Massacre. It wasn’t until after seeing Watchmen that I learned about the thriving community in Greenwood. And then Lovecraft Country continued to educate viewers about sundown towns which I knew about, but after that, I researched California’s sundown towns. I sat horrified, but unsurprised, while the deadly insurrection at the Capitol happened on January 6th, 2021.

I appreciated how mental health became the primary theme in Ted Lasso as the characters communicated what they needed to people they trusted.

I realized how attached I am to Sierra now after watching Appa, the Sky Bison, be captured. That run on Avatar hit me harder than I could have imagined. Anyone who has watched Avatar The Last Airbender knows what I mean. The anguish felt so real.

I made sense of the philosophical conundrums of life by hanging out in The Good Place. Mary Neely both inspired the world with her recreations of musicals and then my students with a guest Zoom visit. I listened, learned, and laughed about modern indigenous peoples by watching Rutherford Falls, Reservation Dogs, and Indigenous TikTok. Mrs. America opened my eyes to the rights fought for by 2nd wave feminists and forced me to painfully confront my fundamentalist teenage years. I guffawed at the shenanigans of energy vampire Colin Robinson on Staten Island in What We Do in the Shadows, and I peeked inside and subsequently got lost in the mystery box by riding the Lumon elevator in Severance.

Seeing Poppy from Mythic Quest break down due to utter loneliness and depression moved me to tears thinking of all the people worldwide enduring the pandemic alone. And miserable about being alone.

I became enamored by Grogu in the Mandalorian, Sylvie in Loki, Yelena and Kate from Hawkeye, and Kamala in Ms Marvel. I opened my eyes to Gen Z from watching TikTok clips and binging Sex Education, and I admired the way in which Muslim women could rock out individually in We Are Lady Parts. I explored the beautiful interconnection of our stories by watching and mostly crying through Station Eleven. And I cheered the LGBTQ+ community’s joy of being authentically recognized in Our Flag Means Death solidifying Taika Waititi as one of the most brilliant talents of our time. And of course, I’m currently in the Upside Down with Nancy from Stranger Things. 

So, how did you endure the pandemic? In the spring of 2020 we were inundated with real life stories of how brilliant people accomplished brilliant tasks during the plague or during great hardships in their lives. Yeah, to quote Sergeant Danny Butterman, “That weren’t me.” I watched the telly.

I barely worked in my studio because it had been converted into a virtual classroom, and I didn’t want to spend more time up there than I already was. We saw the elements blow the roof off our greenhouse and decrease the yields of our crops due to a lack of watering. We sadly sent both Momma Klaus and Mommy Molly over the rainbow bridge after nearly 15 years of life for each of them.

Goodbye Momma Klaus

Goodbye Momma Molly

I tearfully said goodbye to Jareth the Goblin King rooster as he died in my arms of an unknown, internal illness, and endured loss in so many other ways. As we all have. Worldwide. The loss is real, and it’s important to acknowledge it. If you lost loved ones, my heart is with you.

Goodbye Jareth

So yeah. I watched a LOT of TV. Some with Brett. Some alone. While doing dishes or laundry and sometimes with no distractions. And for most shows, I listened to podcasts afterward which helped me process what I had watched. My favorites being from Joanna Robinson, Neil Miller, and Dave Gonzalez. Their new Ringer pod Trial By Content is an excellent time to get lost in pop culture debates. I whole-heartedly feel good about my choices to sink into these shows. But I also learned so much. About the world and myself. As I publish this, the solstice has passed, and the daylight will decrease over the next 6 months. And in that time, we’ll have another election and all that will bring with it. I’ll open my 23rd classroom, and dive into the darkness headfirst. This time, I’ll be better prepared.

If you’ve stayed with me for this long, thank you. How do you help yourself endure of all of the world’s injustice, cruelty, and loss? How can you appreciate the “darkness”? Do you recommend any shows or podcasts?